blurry.mov

updates

2025-11-25
entirely new layout / new domain2025-08-10
updated a lot!2025-07-02
updated pretty much everything

Welcome!

hi!! somehow you found this. (maybe through me directly linking) congrats lmao you win the prize (which is nothing except getting to know me better) anyway i'm glad that you made it and have decided to start learning a little bit more about mei tried to make this site as comprehensive as possible but i also kinda don't know what people want to know about?? so if you have any other questions or info you think should be added, please contact me thru discord/DMs/wherever else you know me fromit's a pretty safe assumption that this site is just perpetually unfinished because i can never think about what i want to write about on things like this

about me

ㅤnameㅤ
answers to "nate" / depends on alterㅤageㅤ
35 (millennial)ㅤbdayㅤ
june 18ㅤlocationㅤ
dallas metro, texas, USㅤpronounsㅤ
it/itsㅤsexualityㅤ
bisexual (all genders)ㅤraceㅤ
whiteㅤrelationshipㅤ
marriedㅤpoliticalㅤ
leftist & serious about itㅤmtbiㅤ
ENFJㅤjobㅤ
unemployed/trying to decide what to do when i grow up now that i am actually grown upㅤsystem roleㅤ
depression? humor?ㅤstrengthsㅤ
natural leader, good listener, empathetic, socialization, careful, charismaticㅤweaknessesㅤ
easily depressed, low energy, slow working, clumsy, intense, uncompromising

my family

elias (husband)

we met in 2015 and got together romantically in early 2016. we've been living together happily since 2017 :) we got married on october 31, 2024! courthouse wedding but currently planning a ceremony at some point.he is my heart, life, & soul! i love him more than anything in the world. i know it's cheesy, but i don't even have the words to explain how much he means to me. we have been through so many ups & downs and i know we are going to grow old and be grumpy old people together lmao

toni (female)

ㅤbreedㅤ rat terrier
ㅤbornㅤ 2015
ㅤadoptedㅤ 2017 (rescue)
ㅤtraitsㅤ playful, scaredy girl, very licky, loving
ㅤattached toㅤ everyone <3

evil (male)

ㅤbreedㅤ siamese
ㅤbornㅤ 2018
ㅤadoptedㅤ 2018 (rescue)
ㅤtraitsㅤ intelligent, vocal, mischievous, independent
ㅤattached toㅤ elias

ava (female)

ㅤbreedㅤ chiweenie
ㅤbornㅤ 2013
ㅤadoptedㅤ 2020 (from MIL)
ㅤtraitsㅤ sweet but salty, stubborn, spoiled
ㅤattached toㅤ me (so much...)

maru (male)

ㅤbreedㅤ tabby
ㅤbornㅤ 2022
ㅤadoptedㅤ 2024 (rescue)
ㅤtraitsㅤ kinda dumb, playful, VERY vocal, very loving
ㅤattached toㅤ everyone <3

extra info about me

i'm Deaf! i wear hearing aids but they don't work super well, so i learned (and am still learning) ASL. i love attending Deaf events and making Deaf friends here in dallasi'm trans! i've known i was trans ever since i hit puberty, but i only fully transitioned IRL in 2018. i got on T in early 2018 & got top surgery in late 2020. i'm pretty happy with where i'm at now. my gender is kind of just a shrug emoji, but i am DFAB & present as masculinei have DID and it's a pretty big part of my life! at least it affects my life a lot. i wrote more about it on the "warnings" page

currents

nov 2025

ㅤhyperfixationㅤ
lego, self-hosting, learning new tech stuff, mastodon, webdevㅤspecial interestsㅤ
torrents, ASL, keyboardsㅤgameㅤ
hello kitty island adventureㅤlearningㅤ
ASL, Japanese (still, forever), stenographyㅤlisteningㅤ
i-dle, izna, HANA

special interests

these are my (autistic) long-term special interests! these are the things that i tend to hyperfocus on and have been very interested in usually since childhood. i do cycle through random special interests here and there if something catches my eye tho, but these are the ones that i am Stuck With Forever (trust me, i've tried to escape)

ㅤmarine biologyㅤ the ocean and especially octopuses and cephalopods - since i was old enough to know what an octopus was
ㅤidolsㅤ especially hello!project (since 2002) but basically all idols except 48g
ㅤjapanㅤ culture, language, everything (since 2003 or so)
ㅤpinkㅤ pink is a literal lifestyle for me, i don't think anyone has ever been as attached to a color as i am to pink

hyperfixations

here are the things that i tend to hyperfocus on! (ADHD). these are usually things i've been hyperfocused on for years. not as hardcore as special interests for better or worse. in no particular order.

ㅤbricksㅤ lego, off brand, whatever i can get my hands on
ㅤminimalismㅤ especially digital minimalism
ㅤtechnologyㅤ audio hardware and software/production, keyboards/typing, web development, cell phones, privacy & self-hosting
ㅤpiracyㅤ yeah if you want to find something i can probably find it. i'm also big into private trackers and have a seedbox.
ㅤdigital preservationㅤ yeah if you want to find something i can probably find it. i'm also big into private trackers and have a seedbox.
ㅤjapanese & translationㅤ i am N3 for "generating" (speaking, writing, EN to JP translation), N2 for "consuming" (listening, reading, JP to EN translation)
ㅤaslㅤ so i can actually communicate with other people
ㅤorganizationㅤ just give me a gift card to the container store and we're fine

regular hobbies

regular old hobbies. i usually cycle through these. in no particular order... def not a comprehensive list bc that would be impossible, i have too many hobbies

ㅤvidyaㅤ binding of isaac, simulation games, picross, the walking dead game, horror games, speedrunning, rhythm games, clickers, shitty mobile games
ㅤgamesㅤ sudoku, crosswords, jigsaw puzzles
ㅤmusicㅤ check out my fave songs playlist on spotify
ㅤarts & craftsㅤ cross-stitching, latchhook, journaling (especially MAMBI), stickers, calligraphy, writing utensils, diamond dot painting, currently learning to crochet
ㅤcreativityㅤ singing, writing, playing bass, making music, drawing, web design
ㅤtechnologyㅤ i'm interested in all other tech along with what's listed under hyperfixations, web development, linux, subtitling/transcription
ㅤyoutubeㅤ usually commentary YTers like kurtis conner but i also like markiplier
ㅤaestheticsㅤ pink/girly/kawaii, retrowave, guro kawaii
ㅤmiscㅤ coffee, going out to eat, lolita fashion

warning // do not interact

please do not interact if any of the following describes you:ㅤracistㅤ
including thinking white people can be oppressed for being whiteㅤanti-lbgtq+ㅤ
including people who think bisexuals can only be attracted to two gendersㅤsexistㅤ
including thinking men can be oppressed for being menㅤableistㅤ
including anti self-dxㅤright wingㅤ
any kindㅤDIDㅤ
pro-endogenic, anti-system, thinks DID doesn't exist, is going to get pissed off at me about characteristics that i can't control in alters like gender, race, religion, etc, thinks fictional introjects don't exist or are "cringe" (i don't have any but it shows you don't know anything about DID lmao)ㅤmiscㅤ
body policing/fatphobic, pro contact pedophile or "MAP", uses slurs you can't reclaim, jokes about abuse of any kind, any other asshole behavior